the bachelorette thoughts - july 22nd show!

Greece Showdown

Luke said a lot of dumb shit last night, but honestly the one thing he said that bothered me the most was his selfie video as he was driving to the rose ceremony in Greece. He’s all, “Hannah thought, after sending me home, that there’s no way I’d want to be with her anymore after the last thing she told me, but she’s sadly mistaken.” This infuriates me. She wasn’t at all worried if you’d still want her, dude. SHE is the one who doesn’t want to be with you, you psycho. Also, her rose ceremony outfit is somewhat cute, but I can’t stop picturing my midsection in that outfit and how my side fat would be spilling out.

Luke joins the other three in line at the rose ceremony like he’s hoping Hannah would have forgotten she sent him home. They yell at each other and he refuses to leave, then the boys step in. Well, Tyler and Jed step in, and Peter sort of waddles along behind them like he doesn’t really want to step in, but kind of has to because the other two are. Best part is when Luke says he’s not leaving and she’s all, “Really? Well, I’ll move this pedestal with the roses on it and THAT should really make it clear!” I mean, right? Sure, you can just walk around it again, but this feels like a powerful move! (?)

So here’s when I start to understand what Luke is about. He’s totally a narcissist, and he’s a manipulator. He does think this is all about him, and his right to be there and his right to have things explained to him and his right to say his side, etc., etc. All about him. Like his selfie video I mention above. He’s not saying he loves her, but thinks she’ll be overly impressed that HE actually still wants HER. He’s delusional.

He says to her that he never judged her. He clarifies, “I just said that I WOULD judge you if you humped Peter in a windmill.” He didn’t say that. Then after an hour of her yelling at him to leave and the guys stepping in and Harrison even sort of stepping in, he leaves. BUT ONLY after he demands that she admit she doesn’t love him, which she does, and he says, “That’s all I need to hear, I’ll excuse myself”. Isn’t that insane? He’s absolutely getting booted out of there by 100 cast and crew members, but twists it around so HE can say, “I’ll excuse myself.” I’m so irritated.

Men Tell All

It’s complete horse shit that we don’t get to find out who the final two are until next week. BOO. So now it’s on to the Men Tell All part, which is 95% about Luke and 5% footage of overly tan women in the audience tilting their heads in confusion and disgust.

Luke is in the hotseat, and like a narcissist, thinks this entire thing is about him, and has no problems taking a full 2-minute pause in between each question he’s asked so he can draft the perfect answer in his head to make himself look good. And he doesn’t mind making the audience wait on him. He is the most important thing here, after all.

He says some other passive-aggressive and manipulative things. Like he comments he was on a rescue mission for her, because clearly he’s the best and Hannah is just a woman who needs saving (and follows that up with his comment that men are supposed to lead and guide a woman in a relationship).

Devin, who lasted one week on this show, is somehow super pissed at Luke and comes out and says Luke just wants to control a woman. Well, YEAH. He wants to control her, and she needs to behave as he wants her to. Seriously, I’d marry Cam before Luke. And that’s saying A LOT.

So let’s wrap this up: Luke is clearly super religious and I’m all for living this way, if God is your thing or whatever, but it bums me out that there’s NO wiggle room in living a religious life. For example, Luke truly believes if you have premarital sex, you can’t be a true person of God. I think really die-hard Christians believe this – you have to follow ALL the “rules” to be a good Christian. But I assume there are many people, like Hannah, who believe in God and live a good life with love and devotion and faith and shit, but don’t live every letter to the law. If you can only be Christian if you live a PERFECT religious life, then that’s just silly, no? Seems outdated and inflexible. And the best part here is that Luke DOES live a perfect religious life, following all the rules he’s supposed to, and apparently that’s great in God’s eyes, but God apparently doesn’t mind if you’re a manipulative, narcissistic asshole? Straaaaange.

By the way, I don’t study religion, nor do I understand or know all the “rules” so I’m probably being overly judgey. I’m only speaking from what I saw here and my experience - I went to Catholic school for lots of years and the nuns told me lots of fucked up shit which is why I’m not religious anymore. Let’s move on.

Harrison makes a comment that nobody captivated us like John Paul Jones. Say what? He captivated us? I think he’s just making that up. JPJ also likes chicken nuggets so much that they bring him a whole plate on stage. He then proceeds to put his sweaty paws all over them and throw handfuls into the audience. It’s a weird segment. Luke is on the sidelines murmuring, “sinners, chicken nugget sinners”.

I think the producers are testing Mike out to see if he’s Bachelor material. Can he seem sweet and smart and eloquent and likeable? I think so, but him tossing out, “I still think she’s fine as hell” didn’t help his case. The Bachelor has never had a black leading man, right? It’s time and I think Mike’s the one.

Someone explain to me what in God’s name is Bachelor Live on Stage?

Hannah

OK I’m tired of talking about Luke but let’s just recap quickly… Hannah says she wanted a religious guy, but Luke used it against her. CORRECT. At one point, she’s yelling at Luke and says, “Fantasy suites aren’t used for sex, Luke. I mean, they ARE in my case, but they don’t have to be. You know what I mean.” She didn’t say that.

I’m honestly numb by now and block out the rest of the show, but I think I covered most of it.  I’m excited for next week’s finale, peeps. See you then!