unnecessary anxiety

I’m an anxious person. I have anxiety. A decent amount of it. And medication helps…But recently I’ve found a few really stupid things that cause me anxiety. Tell me if any of these make any sense to you. I need to not feel alone here.

  1. Going into a new Starbucks. Where do I order? Where do I pick up? What if, by some crazy chance, this is a wonky newfangled Starbucks with all new drinks and a totally new process for ordering and I don’t know what to do?!?

  2. Going into a restaurant to pick up my take-out order. Ditto to above, but instead of plane passengers staring at me, it’s a full restaurant watching my every move, probably thinking, “Where is she going? Doesn’t she know the takeout counter is over there? What did she order? Why isn’t she just eating here?”

  3. Carry-on baggage. If it’s just a small bag that goes under the seat in front of me - fine. If it’s a small roller bag that has to go in the overhead bin? Forget it. Besides Southwest Airlines, planes are usually boarded with the back rows first, so that means when I get to my row, there are 400 people already sitting down, staring straight at me, while I try to casually lug a heavy suitcase over my head and into the overhead bin. What if I’m too weak to do it? What if it falls on my head? What if I take too long and everyone is mad at me for holding up the boarding process? WHAT IF IT DOESN’T FIT?

  4. Shopping with my mom and having her accidentally call someone “oriental”. My mom isn’t a racist and is one of the nicest people around. It’s just an older person thing… a somewhat not-paying-attention-to-what’s-considered-offensive thing. For example…we’re shopping at Nordstrom and the shoe saleslady was super nice. We pay for a pair of shoes and as we’re leaving the register, but still within earshot of the nice saleslady, my mom says, “Well wasn’t she the sweetest little oriental gal you’ve ever met?”

  5. Waiting for my gynecologist. I’m not talking about the waiting room…I’m talking about after you get checked in and the nurse takes your blood pressure or whatever, they give you the cropped paper gown and the paper sheet for your crotch, tell you to change and that the doctor will be right in. So first you hurry the shit up because you’re terrified of the doc walking in while you’re mid-change (aka naked from the waist down with the cropped gown on. ugh.) Then once you’re naked and waiting on the table…this is oddly the most stressful part. WHAT IF THEY FORGET YOU. They’re always running late, right? So you end up sitting there forever, thinking, “How long do I wait here before I have to get up and stick my head out into the hallway and ask if they forgot about me?” Would I get dressed again? the horror.